The Power of Prioritizing Your Peace: Mastering the Art of Saying 'No' as an Introvert

Does this sentence make all the introvert that sells in your body cringe and make you want to disappear? Cause girl, me too. Hey there, fellow introvert on stage. This show is a safe space for the soft souls to learn, connect and master communication. I'm Olivia Lee and you're listening to Introvert on Stage. Let's say you planned on relaxing and doing some self-healing after a long week. To me that's cuddling with my puppy while binging my favorite show or reading a book. But then a friend calls and says they need you to babysit their kids for just 5 hours because something suddenly came up. You know these kids and how crazy and loud they can be, so just the thought of being around them all by yourself stresses you out. But your friend continues to ask on the phone. Can you please help me out this one time? I promise I won't ask again, but just one time. You're my friend and I really need your help, and no one else said they can Please. Does this sentence make all the introvert that sells in your body cringe and make you want to disappear? Cause girl, me too. Maybe you just want to unwillingly say yes, despite how tired and frustrated you are, because you want to be there for your friend. Or if you go deeper, maybe it's because you don't want your friend to be mad at you or hate you. Or if you go even deeper, you may be thinking, if you say no now, when you need their help in the future, maybe she won't be there for you either because you said no this one time. I understand your struggle if you relate to the thought process above, because that's my thought process too the feeling of constantly putting others' needs before your own, of being overly friendly and saying yes all the time and regretting it, and the fear of being disliked or misunderstood. It's a pattern that many introverts fall into and it can be incredibly draining and frustrating.

This conflict, although complicated, is solvable and the solution begins with the magic word no. First and foremost, I want you to recognize the power of no, because your kindness is a strength, not a weakness. But that also doesn't mean other people get to walk all over your boundaries. Saying no isn't rejecting the person. Saying no doesn't mean you don't like them. It simply means you can't or choose not to take on their project. Because, if you think about it, no matter how simple the favor is, it's still sacrificing your own needs and desires, and it helps to script out your no as well. It might sound silly and you might think it's overdoing it, but if you're like me and you often overthink how to say no and you end up saying yes because you don't know how to say no refusal, nicely, trust me, this helps.

Here are a few scripts that you could use, especially in this particular example that I gave you before. Number one is for people who are more comfortable saying no. Number one I'd love to help, but I've had a long week and really need some downtime. As you can tell, you know this answer. You're being truly honest, you're not making up plans that you didn't have, but just simply to the point, you had a long week. You really need some downtime for yourself. Number two is for people who are still uncomfortable saying no and want to offer a solution. Number two thank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, I already have plans, but I really hope you find someone who can help. Or you could also say I could ask around and see if anyone else can help. Or number three I wish I could help, but I already have plans. Let's catch up later.

So, as you can tell, those are really simple answers, because it's also important to avoid over-exponation when we don't really have a good or clear reason to say no. We tend to go on and on about why we can't do something, but you don't owe anyone a lengthy justification, not to mention that makes you sound a little sus too. A simple and sincere reason is good enough. Being nice doesn't mean you have to constantly please everyone around you at the expense of your own happiness. You might not want to disappoint or hurt other people and end up saying yes to things you don't want to. I used to think this was how I get others to like me, but after many years of saying yes over and over and later disappointing them when I actually can't help, I realized that we simply cannot control how other people react. People might get disappointed, and that's okay. Your well-being is as important as anyone else's, and those who genuinely care will understand.

Remember that setting boundaries is not a selfish act. Think of yourself as a beautiful yet fragile wildflower. If you build a boundary around you now, you're in a flower garden and people know not to step inside At least those would common sense in courtasy. But if you're simply a wildflower in the wild with no boundary, no fences, nothing, people don't know how close they're allowed to get to you so they might end up stepping on you, plucking you or, even worse, it on you. Haha, jk. Saying no is an act of self-care and self-respect, because behind every yes are sacrifices you make for yourself, whether it's your time, energy or money. By setting boundaries, you're acknowledging your own needs and limitations and you actually earn more respect from other people as someone who knows how to put yourself first. Not setting your boundaries and getting frustrated is like not having a door and getting mad that people don't knock. Ooh, I really like that you have to tell them where the door is and that to get in, they have to respectfully knock and wait for an answer. If not, they get kicked out. If you want to be kind to others, you must know how to be kind to yourself first. As cliche as it sounds, it's true.

Take the time to recharge and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. As an introvert, solitude is our source of strength and renewal. Embrace it and use it to nourish your soul. Taking care of yourself gives you more energy and capacity to give to those who really mean more to you and who you love more authentically. Personal growth and self-discovery take time. It's a journey and there will be ups and downs, so be patient with yourself and celebrate every step you take towards finding your own voice and being true to who you are, instead of thinking.

I wish I could stop caring so much about what others think. Embrace your introverted nature as a gift and try thinking instead. I have a kind heart that makes me care about how others think, which allows me to connect with other people on a deeper level. To all the frustrated introverts out there, know that you are not alone. Your struggles are so valid, but saying no is also an essential skill that can be learned to prevent burn-out and over-commitment. It's okay to prioritize your mental well-being, and saying no will also clearly indicate who your real friends are. Thank you for having me in your ear. Your time and presence are truly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and we'll be back again next Tuesday on Introvert on Stage. Bye-bye.