Speaker 1: 0:00

Don't make fun of me now. It really works. Just give it a listen. Hey there, fellow introvert on stage. This show is a safe space for the soft souls to learn, connect and master communication. I'm Olivia Lee and you're listening to Introvert on Stage.

Speaker 1: 0:20

Today, let's dwell on the importance of speaking up In this loud world inundated with endless chatters, both online and offline, we're involving ourselves in conversations happening globally, without a geographical limit, also endlessly because social media never stops. But why is that, although we seem to be talking, or more so, typing more than before, there still seems to be fear and hesitation to be the first to speak up, or speak up for ourselves? Because if we don't speak up for ourselves, we could find ourselves not getting what we want, involving ourselves in rumors and lies of some things that we didn't do and letting other people control our lives when it should be us holding that steering wheel. The fear of speaking up or public speaking is referred to as glossophobia, and it can be rooted in our psychological and social factors. If we look at this fear from our evolutionary perspective, humans have developed as social creatures with a strong sense of wanting to belong and a survival, depending on our membership within that community or group, which means standing out or speaking up against the majority, could have led to being ostracized, which back then had life or death consequences. So it's understandable that the fear is deeply rooted in us, and the fear of speaking up could also be tied to our fear of social judgment. It could manifest as the fear of rejection, failure and negative evaluation. Who likes getting rejected? Nobody. If you're afraid that your idea or opinion could get shut down, the easier way out is to not bring it up in the first place. Or what if other people think your idea or opinion is bad and stupid and tell you that you're wrong? We worry that other people will think less of us if we make a mistake or say something unpopular.

Speaker 1: 2:12

And you are scientifically speaking up activate parts of our brain associated with stress and anxiety. When we imagine ourselves speaking up, our amygdala, the fear center of the brain, can trigger a fight or flight response, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, which could lead us to have increased heart rate, shaking or internal panic, even though we only thought of speaking up. Have you ever experienced that? Because I have, and you might be thinking at this point geez, olivia, we get it. You're making it sound scarier now, and the reason why I wanted to dive deeper into where this fear is coming from is because fear usually comes from not knowing. Just like how we're fine walking around in our room during the day, but the same exact room in pitch black darkness, we fear running into things or maybe imagining something standing in the corner. That's because we don't know what's there.

Speaker 1: 3:09

If we clearly understand where our fear is coming from and what's causing it, it becomes so much easier to empathize with ourselves and even be friends with that fear. If you really think about what I just went over, your fear of speaking up for yourself isn't a sign of weakness. It's just your kind brain wanting to respect other people, fit in with the group and protect you from being seen as a weirdo. How kind your fear is simply your anxious best friend who is always worried about you because they want nothing but the best for you. The more we prove to ourselves that, ah, that was nothing to be scared about, it definitely becomes easier over time. Does that help?

Speaker 1: 3:51

Now that we know where the fear comes from, let's talk about turning that fear into courage. I won't simply tell you to do what scares you, just like everyone else on the internet, because I know how scary and Impossible it feels, especially as someone with an introverted personality. So here's what I did instead to gradually expose myself to a feared situation, I started stating my opinions to Alexa and Siri and yes, you're right, I don't have two girlfriends named Alexa and Siri. I mean the little device from Amazon and my phone. Don't make fun of me now it really works. Just just give it a listen. Speaking with non-human devices and artificial intelligence, like chat, gpt helped me to start expressing my opinion in a small scale, including saying no. Do you know how liberating and powerful I feel whenever I ask Alexa for the weather? And she asked if I also want to know Tomorrow's weather and I say no, heck, no, no, thank you, I don't need that information. Ah, if you were judging me secretly or think that's weird, you're actually a step ahead. That just where I had to start, because it was that difficult for me.

Speaker 1: 5:01

The next step for me was to let my circle of friends be aware of where I am and what I'm hoping to achieve. For instance, I told my boyfriend and a few of my best friends and my counselor that I'm working on expressing my thoughts more clearly Instead of letting things pile up. That opened up a safer place for me to practice sharing my thoughts and opinions with ease and Sometimes them even giving me a high five for trying to improve. What I also found to be helpful is to prepare your points in advance. Writing down what you want to say or questions you'd like to ask in advance. We'll give you a reference point and reduce anxiety about forgetting what you want to say. You and I both know that writing things down is a proven technique for remembering ideas, thoughts and tasks, better than just rehearsing them inside your head. So take it a step further Practicing your points out loud, either alone or with someone you trust. Saying it out loud and practicing can help you to become more comfortable with articulating your thoughts.

Speaker 1: 6:01

A nonverbal way for you to speak up for yourself is through confident body language. No matter how good your words are, if you're slouched down, talking very quietly has, it tend to make eye contact and add in too many um. You know like People will slowly think there's no point in listening to you. Sit up straight, make eye contact. A little tip if it's too scary, just look in between their eyes, that little point on top of their nose. They'll see you as Megan I contact I do that all the time and nod in agreement to what other people are saying.

Speaker 1: 6:42

These nonverbal cues Signal to others that you're engaged in a current conversation and have something to contribute. And this can be easier if you also seek allies. You could let a friend who's supportive know in advance that you have something to share. So even if you're struggling to speak up, the person could set the stage for you. We're asking a question for you and when it comes to your time to speak, it's powerful to use affirmative language that shows confidence in your ideas, such as I believe, or in my experience.

Speaker 1: 7:15

And when you do speak up, be clear and to the point. Having a lot to say could lead us to talk on and on, and on and on, but keeping it short and clear will make sure that your message is understood, while holding others attention. And sometimes, if appropriate, humor can also be an excellent way to grab people's attention or show that you're not nervous to share your thoughts and opinions. And, of course, these things are easier said than done. Am I right? And I'm still learning as I go. But, like any other skills in life, speaking up for yourself is also a skill that's learnable and and improvable upon practice. Each time you voice your thoughts or opinions or ideas in a group, even if that group starts with Alexa, siri and GPT, you will build your confidence Gradually, and what matters most is that you're taking those steps. So what's the lesson from today? Learn to speak up and fight for yourself. Often, people misunderstand silence for weakness, so it's more powerful to speak up than to silently resent.